select_db('db11387_expression'); ?> http://www.peaxal.com/ en kenny@meydesign.com Copyright 2008 2008-08-12T18:06:30-08:00 seed('How to create a successful website for Nothing (or Almost Nothing)', 'http://www.peaxal.com/blog/article/how_to_create_a_successful_website_for_nothing_or_almost_nothing/'); ?> http://www.peaxal.com/blog/article/how_to_create_a_successful_website_for_nothing_or_almost_nothing/ Editor’s note (which I guess, is me): the following is parody of a WSJ page that does no justice for the internet and its designers/developers. You can find the abomination article: here. Hey do you have eight hours and $10? Then you’re probably unemployed! Thanks to competition among web-hosting providers, and the alignment of mercury to jupiter on its fourth-dimensional axis, it has never been easier to get a web site up and running. Many small businesses seem intimidated by the job. In a survey published last year, by somebody, 36% of online small businesses have web sites. That leaves 64% of online small businesses without a website: a glaring contradiction. So, here’s a guide for small online business owners who are not online to make the leap… online! We’ll lay out all the steps you need to take, and give you some expert opinions from my cousin Gary who built his brother’s wedding site! 1. Buy a web address First, buy a domain name for $10 a year. The foundations of an online business or any business begin with branding! Market research and business plans were so Web 1.0… oh wait! They weren’t! But we’re now in Web 2.0 so your branding will be significantly improved by the extra point. 2. Find a Home You’ll need a place to put your brand! What better than cheap crappy shared-hosting for free, perhaps, an investment in great hosting so your site can grow! 3. Build your site You’ll want to design your site now, and there is good news: most free hosting services offer free crappy tools to build something really ugly! Nothing says foundational like putting your business on ice skates in a hockey ring! Here are your required pages: 1) A home page 2) An about page 3) A contact page 4) A family page with photos of your recent vacation 5) Clip art! 6) A mailing list to spam relatives with jokes and patriotic emails! If you own a restaurant you might want to include a menu. If you’re a store-front you may want to make a “store” page. If you’re a terrorist, how about a weapons-expert page! Got it! OK! You’re so fucking retarded, that I’m going to make Microsoft Word metaphors about using online web-page editor applications. Because we know the one thing office workers love most, is Microsoft Office! So build your site with an online application, that works as well as Microsoft Word! What’s that? There’s another way? You’re right. You can improve the design by learning HTML. You don’t need to have programming skills to use HTML - a magical language with strange cryptic characters gifted to us by the early Celtic cave-dwelling dwarves - because you’re a moron! Also, if you’re looking to improve your site, but don’t want to make the effort yourself: steal code! I don’t need to tell you that you need to credit the author from whom you stole the work—because you don’t! Isn’t building a business fun? 4. Get Paid Money, on the internet, comes from the existence of a site itself, not the content or quality of the material on it. Just put up some Paypal buttons and voila! Magic money! 5. Get Sponsors You can be the next Tiger Woods, without any of the talent or skill. Simply sign-up for a Google Adwords account and act as if this will generate significant revenue for your already well thought out website. For Bob Smith of smithautoinc2413.com, it has worked wonders. “I’ve been able to make millions of dollars...everyday!” Incredible! 7. Get Known You look at this title and you think, “time to provide meaningful content and a good user experience”? LOL (silly internet letters for laughing out loud) Of course not silly ! SEO is like a cash machine, printing money to every well-wisher who just happens to sign up. Optimize your site for search… it works for Google, and they’re doing great! Look at how they’re the top result for the search term “Google” (fact-finding mission result: http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en-us&q=Google&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8) and they’re reaping all the benefits 8. Track your Traffic Using these tips, you can build your site from 1 to 2 to 8 people a year! Make sure you check to see what part of your business is the most popular. The clip art page? Maybe throw some clip art on your weapons-expert page… perhaps a bear hugging a heart? 9. Success! Now, is it time for a revenue model? Just kidding! Time to blog! Blog! Blog! But seriously, do us all a favor. Work hard and build something great that you enjoy or that furthers the foundations of your business plan, market research and revenue model. It doesn’t have to look great or be totally functional at first (it can with Blue Flavor!), but it can grow over time. In the future, when something you loved has blossomed into something that a lot of people love, you can hire people who know what they’re doing and work on what’s important to you and your company. 2008-08-12T18:06:30-08:00 seed('Welcome (again) to Peaxal', 'http://www.peaxal.com/blog/article/welcome_to_peaxal/'); ?> http://www.peaxal.com/blog/article/welcome_to_peaxal/ Greetings friends. Welcome to Peaxal, again. I’d like to discuss some of the changes and design decisions I made on this blog over the course of the week, but now the topic will be “heading into the future”. Peaxal as a blog and a website is changed, becoming more personal and helpful at the same time. With my role at Blue Flavor I can blog about more professional topics on Blue Flavor’s blog, and really get into odd scary territory here.  Where the fuck were you? For those of you who have been here before, I’m not apologizing. While moving apartments and taking on a new job at the illustrious Blue Flavor, I had a change of heart about this blog. I wanted to take Peaxal in a different direction and have it under my full control. So I spent some time creating a design made by me in ExpressionEngine and an ideology ripped from the gutter from which my mind spends its days. So, what’s this plan you speak of? The plan, you say! The plan!! There is now a larger scheme at work here. You see that image all grayed out in the top right corner. That’s my Django series, and it’s launching on the Django 1.0 release date. I’ve been learning Python and learning Django at the same time. While I find both systems beautiful, I feel like I can add a resource or two for those who want to pick up on the topics. My proposal is this, a series of tutorials/articles on building an actual (to be used) Django site as I go along. Although, it’s not so much a proposal as an “it’s happening”, but blogs are supposed to be personal and full of community even though I probably wouldn’t like most of you. There will be a prologue to it as well, covering the bases of the Python language. While I can’t require you to go out and read about Python before you begin Django, I recommend it. I know plenty of great developers who have done just fine without it. Learning language mechanics is great, but diving into something is even more rewarding and important. I just want to make sure you don’t look like a chicken with its head cut-off. Which is just silly. I mean, how is it going to eat? I have no idea. Stuff food down its open throat with it’s wings? Ridiculous. So you’re just going to blog about Django? No. The blog part of this site will actually be a separate entity then the article series. That’s why I made a fancy graphic and why you need to bugger the fuck off. No, I’m just kidding sweety. I want to make sure that my blog and the Django series (as well as future series) are considered separate. ExpressionEngine in its might glory allows this. This blog will become random and odd, discussing everything from mac applications to sandwiches to development. The Django series, more focused. Anything else we should know about? Yes. I’m pregnant. I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I didn’t want to scare you away. Also, since you asked, I’m working on something I hope will play a larger part in the internet’s future. Now, if that’s not bold, then perhaps you need to press CTRL + B on it (or COMMAND + B for my Mac buddies) to make yourself feel better. It needs a bit of revision, but you should hear something in the next few weeks. It could sputter out like the French Olympic Team’s 400m relay hopes, but as when you build anything you think can change, it might make a small difference. It is not a web application or something web 2.0. It doesn’t require a revenue model or a business plan. It’s not a business. That’s pretty vague, asshole. Yeah… well… your face is pretty stupid… stupid-face! (High-Fives best friend Tad) So you did this all by yourself? Of course not, one of the benefits of working at Blue Flavor (other then the requisite “I heart Blue Flavor” coffee mug) is getting to make others slave away for you! In this case, big props go out to Tom Watson for helping me figure out some navigation issues, and Jeff Croft for his design insight (coincidentally into navigation issues). That’s not to say Jeff designed it or Tom did the IA. That was all me. They fixed a very broken shed and made it less… brokeny? So thank you to them for just being spectacular, intelligent people and knowing their shit, but don’t take this design as a reflection of their professional merit… Blue Flavor: Looking for clients. No more flaking out, ok, and why do you have these imaginary conversation with a fictitious audience in the form of headings Because span’s seemed less semantic? So, ambiguous reader, welcome. 2008-08-12T05:11:01-08:00